It’s hard to really pick a place to start. I’m not writing a book that starts somewhere and ends on the last page of a literary roadmap. Maybe the best place to start is where/how I was convinced that there was something really wrong with how we as Christians were going about marriage and relationships.
First was an amazing amount of guilt I felt as a married Christian man to even notice that a beautiful woman existed aside from my wife. The slippery slope argument from there would lead Christians to believe that you have to pretty much break your neck to avoid noticing anyone other than your spouse. Does God never expect anyone to leave their home?
Second, why do we see men of the old testament with multiple wives, and then not even a peep about it in the new testament? I’ve heard people point out the story of David and Bathsheba as an example, but that’s a huge leap of logic that is common, but is really a weak leg to stand on. On a cursory glance of the scripture involving David and Bathsheba, that would make some sense, but the context involves God telling David that if he wanted more than he had, that he only needed to ask. The theft of another man’s wife was David’s crime that God was speaking of.
A third major point I came to was the realization that the use of the words adultery, fornication, and homosexuality are in no way the same usage as today. Adultery, even in the ten commandments, was the “theft” of another man’s wife. It was a property crime, not a reference to a cheating spouse or even sex outside of marriage in general. By definition it’s not a crime that could be committed by a woman. Fornication in Greek is where we get the term “porn.” But the word used is only describing illicit sex, which is the use of enslaved boys and girls for sexual pleasure which was common in the early Greek world. The use of homosexual or even a veiled euphemism for it is widely taken out of context. Deeper context searching will reveal that early biblical scholarship was also describing pederasty. That’s where a boy is sold or otherwise enslaved for the sexual interaction with men. You don’t need to be a biblical scholar to agree that this act is deplorable, and agree with the Bible in light of the real definition and intent of the verses describing homosexuality.
So taking a look at Christian culture, doctrine, and nature through this new lens has made me angry. It makes Jesus a champion of much more than we were lead to believe. Where did it go wrong? What is even real, after being lied to for the majority of your life? How can thousands of years of misguided doctrine be changed? I’m no Martin Luther, but consider this blog my 95 Theses.