I’m Finally Home

I’ve been back home since February, but have been reluctant to share anything new. There’s no logical reasoning behind the reluctance, but maybe fear would be the best way to describe it. I am an INFJ, and a have a decent working knowledge of how people work. Unfortunately, I have a very poor understanding of how I work. For months I was verbally and emotionally abused on a daily basis (while I was away from home recently, that is). From the first week of October until around the second or third week of February. I know for certain many people have it worse, and to those who would say that to me, what I went through is not up for their interpretation.
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The biggest issue is that I don’t know how to go from constant fear on a minute by minute basis to a healthy mental state. I’ve seen a therapist once recently, and plan to continue that. However, the whole reason I’ve dusted off my blogging hat, is that my wife is taking my kids on a trip back to the hell we just got out of. Her reasoning is that her mom is in a really bad place (depression and entirely unstable), and I can understand that. I’m not an unreasonable guy, and knowing her instability definitely explains the abuse she dealt me constantly. But she thought it would be a great idea to bring my kids along on this trip.
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Can any of you imagine saying in the same sentence, “my mom is unstable, so I’m going to take my kids to go visit her.” Am I the one at fault for thinking that’s more than a bit nuts? (You can answer that honestly, because the arguments I’ve had with my wife lately have been making me question that.) I would feel better about this if my wife wasn’t arguing and acting the same way that she did while we were there with her parents. She is the reason that we had to stay. It was a prison for me. Now, the person that agrees with the facts about returning for a vacation with my abuser is planning on going anyway. I’m hurting folks. I’m sorry the substance of this post is so personal, but I hope you can understand why this is something that is inescapably on my mind. Please pray..

-GT

Crashing 

One topic that is near and dear to my heart is mental health. Specifically, the topic of fibromyalgia, which I suffer from. Since moving south, and being forcibly removed from all support from family and friends, I have been physically beaten by my own wife on one occasion and verbally abused daily by her parents. I have no comfort and nobody to count on for emotional or any other type of support. I’m told I don’t have fibromyalgia, and that I’m just a liar, bad husband, and bad father by people who are supposed to be trying to live like Christ. I have no hope. This is a deviation from my normal service of this blog, but I hope to share from anonymity things which I cannot the closest people in my life. 

I drive a cab, and a phrase popped out of my mouth that I didn’t quite expect. I said that for all of the abuse and hate I receive, that you might have thought I came out as gay. That “alternative lifestyles” get people treated as bad as a medical condition. Now, I fully believe that people are made to be who they are, and these lifestyle choices are not choices but are how they’re wired and there should be no shame or taboo against it. Strong opinion is the hallmark of people who care about both of these subjects, so please comment respectfully and tell me if I’m off course in my thoughts. You will be my peer reviewer. I do think this could be true, and if it is true, there’s something interesting that comes out of it. 

The comparison in outside hate and superiority complex toward these two topics, and really a far range beyond, are what I’m talking about. People in general fear the unknown. Homosexuality, PTSD, polyamory, fibromyalgia… These are complete unknowns to a lot of people, but this should never be an excuse for bad behavior. The patterns of their behavior are telling, though. With fibro, one common cliche we hear is, “it’s all in your head.” Not too different from telling someone that their relationship choices are based on a psychological trauma or abuse. Another stance taken is morality. People with fibromyalgia are accused of being lazy and generally lousy human beings. “Christians” target the lgbt+ communities and say that it’s all perversion of the natural order (despite a plethora of evidence to the contrary). In war, Christians would be the ones walking around shooting their own wounded soldiers. Just like the Pharisees, the normal Christian faith now includes exclusion to the point of hate. That’s not to say that Christian belief should be inclusive of other faiths, but that as Christians we’re supposed to love our neighbors, and the behavior I’ve been subjected to and have witnessed towards people who fall into nonnormative categories makes me ashamed to call myself a Christian. I have no shame in Christ, but his followers have made an abominable mess of this world (as always).

I hurt for my own suffering as a fibromyalgia ridden polyamorous man hiding in plain sight, and for the suffering of those who are in the crosshairs of ignorant believers. We are the resistance to this hatred. Our battlefield is the hearts and minds of those who would sooner shoot down the wounded than help them. Remember this every day, and don’t be afraid of doing the right thing. 

-Guerilla Theo

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8 NIV

http://bible.com/111/mic.6.8.NIV

The Ten Commandments:What’s the Point!?

bible-scripture-gospel-testament-52513When I see or hear anyone talking about the ten commandments, my first thought is the Charlton Heston movie by Cecil B. Demille. Wonderful movie about the events of Exodus, with some admitted embellishment. So the Old Testament represents a covenant agreement with the people of Israel, and Deuteronomy, Numbers, and Leviticus gives a massive list of laws. By the book of Isaiah, the rules have been narrowed down to six laws, the book of Micah narrows it further to three laws, and Jesus brings the grand total of laws to just two. However, Jesus still mentions the ten commandments as mandatory. So does that mean that there are 12 laws, two laws, or two laws that govern ten laws? It’s pretty obvious that I’m going to say it’s the last one, but let’s delve into this a bit and see what is really there.

      1. Do not have any other gods besides me.

      2. Do not make an idol for yourself in the shape of anything in the heavens above or on the earth below or in the waters under the earth.

      3. Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God.

      4. Be careful to remember the Sabbath day.

      5. Honor your father and mother.

      6. Do not murder.

      7. Do not commit adultery.

      8. Do not steal.

      9. Do not give dishonest testimony against your neighbor.

      10. Do not covet your neighbors wife or desire your neighbors house, his field, his male or female slave, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

These are all from HCSB version and what Jesus says is, “love your God with all of your soul, mind,pexels-photo-27633 and heart. The second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself. All of the law and prophets hang on this.” Commit that to memory in whatever version of the Bible you prefer. What Jesus is saying is that those two laws are the completion or fulfillment of all other laws. It’s done, game over, and no recount in Florida. But is it a contradiction for him to say this after talking with a man about keeping the ten commandments? Don’t really think so…

At the end of the life of Jesus and after his resurrection is the day of Pentecost. On the day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit comes and gives supernatural ability to the remaining disciples, but another thing happens as well. With the Holy Spirit giving supernatural abilities, also comes a discernment that was never there before (this is mainly conjecture, and any pastor who tells you this as absolute fact is off in his theology). So with this discernment, the Ten Commandments should become obvious, in my approximation. This is a simple answer, but further investigation leads the the first proof of polygamous (and by extension polyamorous) marriage.

The first five are fairly self explanatory, along with eight and to some degree nine. I will be focusing on six, seven, and ten. Six is an important one these days, because the world seems to be going absolutely crazy. The Middle East has always been a disaster zone. People have been killing over the land there as long as there has been people, and people killing over land and other possessions has been the story of every nation of the world. With all of this “manifest destiny,” how do Godly people just gloss over the sixth commandment!? Two Sunday’s ago, a pastor at a church I was checking out claimed that the key word was “murder.” So you can kill anyone you like as long as it isn’t murder. Someone stealing your standard edition Ford Escort from the early 90s can be shot dead. Home break-in? 12 gauge loaded with buckshot is the way to do it. We can’t let them get away our gold plated juicer from Ikea… The word used here for “murder” is ratsach. It can mean murder, but it also means kill or slay. No complication or bending it, just simply stated: do not kill. This means that the pursuit of peace is a much harder line to follow, since as a tax paying citizen of most countries, our taxes fund killing. Christians have supported America being the world’s police, and in some cases it was justified, but in other places we have no moral right to do or say anything.

Some people will scream “CONTRADICTION!” because God commanded Israel to take the promised land mercilessly by killing the Canaanites, making no exceptions. So is it? No, not so much. I have a hard time with this, because it really very much seems like it’s contradictory to say on one occasion not to kill, but then in the next breath say to commit genocide. The best explanation I can come up with is that it is morally wrong to kill, but if you’re commanded by God it becomes morally right. It sounds like I’m making up the rules as I go along, and I would agree, but I really don’t know how to justify it when God says not to kill and then goes on and on throughout the book of Joshua how God supported this to the point that Jesus showed up (Arguably Christophony) and says that he’s neither for them or against them. It’s commanded of them to kill the Canaanites, and not to kill. Another theory is that the Canaanites were not actually human. Crazy conspiracy theory, but give it a chance. I believe that one way to try and ruin God’s plans was demonic interference in the natural progression of humanity. It has been documented that at the time, there really were such things as giants with red hair and six fingers and toes on each appendage. What if they were a demonic creation? God would be fully justified in killing all of them at this point. Theories are welcome, but basically unless you’re legitimately commanded by God himself, don’t kill.


Now on to adultery. The “
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse” is the common definition today, but the Bible’s definition is very different. In the Bible, adultery had nothing to do with sex, but it had everything to do with property rights. In those days, if a man married a woman, she became his property. If another man stole her away, then he would be the adulterer. The gray area at that point is, what if the husband or wife has sex outside of marriage. Biblically, there’s nothing saying that that kind of behavior is immoral or even frowned upon. Moving on to the New Testament, Jesus makes a strange statement on the topic of divorce in Matthew 19:9, ”And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Most Christians look at this verse and thing it simply means that if one spouse cheats on the other, divorce is justified. However, that’s not at all what it means. Jesus makes statements as extreme as if you hate, you are guilty of murder, and this is just another extreme line that Jesus is taking on divorce. When a man divorced a woman, she lost everything. She had no property rights, no voice, no possessions of any kind. Marriage always was a transaction in those days, and women were essentially sold into a marriage. If a woman was divorced, she was penniless, and had no value to another marriage transaction. Essentially what this means is that to divorce a woman is to rob the next man, as the woman would be valueless.

pexels-photo-237647As for ten, it’s a list which inevitably means that each thing in that list is of equal value, but it goes further than that. Listed in the 10th commandment are possessions. This means that a spouse is the same type of thing as an ox, a slave, a donkey, a house… possessions. This was a cultural artifact of the time, and I believe that it was made part of the ten commandments because it was a revelation from God describing the right way to do things in a way that they would understand it. This isn’t making a statement of the place of a woman in society, just on the fact that anything at all that can be perceived as a possession, shouldn’t be coveted. It’s also entirely possible that this is there to shame them for even considering women as possessions, but that is really just me looking at a different culture through today’s lens.

Simply put, the Bible doesn’t define adultery as cheating or even sleeping around. Killing is wrong unless God appears to you personally and tells you to kill someone, and you happen to have a smartphone handy to record the conversation. I hope this shines a light into an area where people have continually gotten it wrong, and added modern culture to an entirely different culture, then made it a hard line to always be followed. These ideas are controversial to the point that it would take such a miracle to change the collective minds of the church, such as having every visible star reorganize itself into spelling out the truth in the night sky. Until then, I’ll share the truth here. A Guerrilla Theologian, in a crowd of the deceived.

-G.T.

I’m Trapped

Do you blame the prisoners for beating you, or the guards for keeping you locked up?

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I’ve been put into a rough situation. I was forced to move under threat of losing my kids, only to live with my wife’s parents who hate me for being disabled. The situation has improved because my wife has apologized for putting me in this situation, but she still refuses to leave. I am trapped because I could never remove my kids from their mother, nor could I leave my wife. This isn’t a pity party, but this has really gotten me to think about my ordeal and how it applies to faith.

In my life, something consistently weird happens to me everywhere I go. People I have never met feel safe to just start talking to me. I have never understood why that is. I’m an introvert, love isolation, and have a mile wide personal bubble. At some point in conversation the topic of faith comes up. I’m a fairly outspoken Christian, but I rarely ever bring it up. The general point that nonbelievers relate is that they don’t want to choose Christianity because they feel it would be a jail cell, when I believe it to be the exact opposite.

prison-1331203_640One big point of Christianity is that we all have a sin nature, and anything but complete moral perfection is a death sentence. Have you ever lied (Little white lies count!)? Have you ever hated anyone? Minor “innocent” things that we don’t consider evil, are worthy of death in the eyes of God. If God is real, that is (quite literally) hell of a situation to be in. But doesn’t that mean that there should be an even better reason to choose Christianity? To nonbelievers, not so much! The reason for that is legalism. Let me make this incredibly clear… CHRISTIANS ARE THE PROBLEM!

We have made Christianity look like a perpetual jail cell! That’s not what Christ died for. Christ was killed, in part, because the religious leaders of the day made the Mosaic law (Deuteronomy, Leviticus, and whatnot) a jail cell instead of a path to freedom. There were hundreds of laws, but the Jewish leaders of the time took those and added even more laws. The Apostle Paul roughly said that God gave us the law so that we would know what sin really was. What this adds up to is that the law is there to show us that we need a savior, and that the legalistic Jewish leaders had no want for a savior. They had no desire to give up the jail cell they had created, because doctrine is comfortable and religious nuance is something to be wary of. So what does this look like in Christianity today?

Let’s say that we’ve given up Mosaic law, and all we have is the New Testament. Since around 70 A.D. there has been no new scripture given, so where do all these rules come from since there’s only two “laws” given in the New Testament? The truth is we made new rules, and misrepresented scripture to make even more rules on top of that. These rules come from Roman culture (as it was a Roman emperor who made Christianity a nationally accepted religion), and Roman social standards being included into Christian doctrine and theology. So what modern Christians have done is make an ancient culture’s social norms part of our moral framework. From that we have made even more rules on top of that, and made scripture fit that (eisegesis). To question if homosexuality is acceptable is heresy to most evangelical denominations. Same applies to plural marriage and sex before marriage. These are just a few big “hot buttons” today, but to many people these are the jail cells we’re trying to get people to commit to. And that is an incredibly painful thought if you can think for just a second that doctrine isn’t what we thought it was.

We’re supposed to be bringing peace, but instead we bring hate. Christ taught a message of unconditional love, but we have perverted his message to be isolation. This doesn’t have to be our future. To many I am a perverted heretic who is trampling the name of Christ, and from their perspective they are right. However, from my perspective that’s exactly what they are doing. That’s exactly what I have been guilty of in the past when I shared their perspective. Today I am doing everything I can to make up for that. I hope you read this and can see that I’m tired of Christianity being presented as a jail cell. I sincerely hope that you can help me change the message of the church to be unconditional love.

 

I Need You!

Halp!

I have started a new campaign on Patreon, and I cannot do what I do without you! The content provided here will always be free, and I genuinely hope that you enjoy what you see here. That being said, if you like what you see, here’s how you can help support your friendly neighborhood Guerrilla Theo! Go to patreon.com/GuerrillaTheologian and pick a campaign you would like to help.

I also have a reward for a monthly contribution of $5 or more! For your monthly support you will gain access to my personal email! This means that you can ask me questions, request content, send me junk mail, send me hilarious dank memes, ask what my favorite dank meme of 2016 is, whatever you can think of. This isn’t a junk email, but an email that is directly connected with my personal email (to maintain my secret identity lol). I will respond much quicker to you than I could through comment threads on here.

I am using all contributions to provide a better experience than I could provide on my own. Currently there are two campaigns listed, and the descriptions are transparent as far as what the money will be used for. So if you like what you see, please consider supporting this blog.

Guerilla Theo

…In the Beginning…

It’s hard to really pick a place to start. I’m not writing a book that starts somewhere and ends on the last page of a literary roadmap. Maybe the best place to start is where/how I was convinced that there was something really wrong with how we as Christians were going about marriage and relationships.

First was an amazing amount of guilt I felt as a married Christian man to even notice that a beautiful woman existed aside from my wife. The slippery slope argument from there would lead Christians to believe that you have to pretty much break your neck to avoid noticing anyone other than your spouse. Does God never expect anyone to leave their home?

Second, why do we see men of the old testament with multiple wives, and then not even a peep about it in the new testament? I’ve heard people point out the story of David and Bathsheba as an example, but that’s a huge leap of logic that is common, but is really a weak leg to stand on. On a cursory glance of the scripture involving David and Bathsheba, that would make some sense, but the context involves God telling David that if he wanted more than he had, that he only needed to ask. The theft of another man’s wife was David’s crime that God was speaking of.

A third major point I came to was the realization that the use of the words adultery, fornication, and homosexuality are in no way the same usage as today. Adultery, even in the ten commandments, was the “theft” of another man’s wife. It was a property crime, not a reference to a cheating spouse or even sex outside of marriage in general. By definition it’s not a crime that could be committed by a woman. Fornication in Greek is where we get the term “porn.” But the word used is only describing illicit sex, which is the use of enslaved boys and girls for sexual pleasure which was common in the early Greek world. The use of homosexual or even a veiled euphemism for it is widely taken out of context. Deeper context searching will reveal that early biblical scholarship was also describing pederasty. That’s where a boy is sold or otherwise enslaved for the sexual interaction with men. You don’t need to be a biblical scholar to agree that this act is deplorable, and agree with the Bible in light of the real definition and intent of the verses describing homosexuality.


So taking a look at Christian culture, doctrine, and nature through this new lens has made me angry. It makes Jesus a champion of much more than we were lead to believe. Where did it go wrong? What is even real, after being lied to for the majority of your life? How can thousands of years of misguided doctrine be changed? I’m no Martin Luther, but consider this blog my 95 Theses.


Phileo,
Guerilla Theologian